By Kristina Long, LPC, Nationally Certified Professional Mediator
Mediation works to take negative and vulnerable conflict and bring about a space of hope for change and validation. Through a series of meetings, a mediator works with disputing parties to uncover the positions and interests that are at the heart of the conflict. We aim for Mediation to be an overall positive experience. From the start the parties already agree on one thing - we have a conflict that needs help resolving.
Mediation is facilitated conflict resolution. A mediator is a neutral third party specially trained to help walk you through the process of reaching an agreement to a conflict or disagreement.
The process of mediation values the idea of self determination. Disputing parties are in total control of the resolution to the conflict. The mediator models an opportunity for open communication, sharing information, and discussion of unmet needs.
Humans have a need for closeness and connection, for companionship and to feel valued and understood. Conflict arises when one or more of these needs goes unmet.
In 1943, American psychologist Abraham Maslow created a hierarchy of needs and introduced the concept that human needs are universal and innate. Maslow shared that humans are motivated by unmet needs. In thinking about conflict, mediation can help identify the unmet needs of each party to find the opportunity for spaces of agreement.
Many couples or families experiencing disconnect or hopelessness are asking themselves: How Did We Get Here?
The characteristics of conflict have been proven to be universally understood across cultures and languages. Knowing how you got embroiled in this conflict may be the nudge you need towards resolution.
Conflict can arise from incomplete communication. One or both parties might have missed parts of the whole story and create a narrative based on half truths.
Conflict can arise from inaccurate information, meaning one or both parties heard the wrong information. Maybe the source was inaccurate or it was a game of “telephone.” Either way, this can lead to conflict.
Conflict can arise from stress overload. When one or both parties are confused, stressed or overloaded, conflict is sure to arise.
Conflict can arise because of different viewpoints. When beliefs and values differ, our world view is different. This can bring about conflict within relationships.
Conflict can arise because of limited resources. Neither party can have it all and there is not enough to go around.
Mediation works with a negative dynamic and provides space for positive emotions to take place. Resolving conflict requires hard work and tenacity. With a mediator for support, disputing parties can find opportunity and hope in the face of feeling stuck. If you have questions or want to schedule mediation, reach out to Graceful Therapy today: (630) 733-9108
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